To charge rent or not

Every parent wants the best for their kids. If we’ve struggled in life, especially financially, we don’t want our kids to go through that.  Yet as my 20 year old son has been out of school for almost 3 yrs, I’ve come to wonder whether I’m actually hurting him more than helping by not expecting him to pay very much for rent or any of our household expenses. Since he brings in an income – and spends it all, it occurred to me that he actually spends quite a bit per month on those variable luxuries.

I’m not sure what a reasonable amount to charge your own kid is – but overall I think it would be what you would charge to rent out a room in your house to another independent adult who isn’t your kid. So why can’t I do that? It could give him the push that he needs to find a better paying job that is full time which he is certainly capable of.  In hindsight, I think I have done my son a great disservice in not expecting him to be more financially self-sustaining from the time he turned 18.  I would always say, “But he’s a good kid.” Another mistake I know I am making is not insisting he pay his rent on time. Is that going to make him be delinquent on his mortgage or rent payments or car payments (when he moves out). I give advice on buying RRSP’s but he thinks that’s a waste of money. I know he has his plan on how he is going to make money and I think that’s great, but I also wonder if it is a pipe dream. I do encourage him and hope with all my heart that his dream comes true.  We all have dreams so go for them and don’t give up.  Life is a hard job, and kids need to know that.  So for now I won’t raise his rent but I do expect more from him down the road.  Encourage our kids. Nette

Gramma is reading the rules

Both Mother and Baby are well.  Stanley had some breathing problems, his breathing was only 75% when he was born and he had a fever so the little guy was on an antibiotic IV and oxygen for 48 hrs. His breathing is perfect now and the infection is gone.  He is so sweet. 

I have been reading about how to be a good gramma.  Most of the articles are about what not to do.  Don’t give advice, don’t go over to often, don’t plan your weekends around your grandchild, don’t spoil them.  Holy crap I have already done them all.  They say that the relationship between a parent and child, and a grandparent and child are totally different. Our adopted Nana and Papa always said that the love for a grandchild is so intense that you can’t explain it.  I don’t know that yet but I am 100% sure they were right.  I have been so sad since he was born, I didn’t know why but now I do.  I haven’t had a chance to hold him until day three.  They are home now from the hospital and Mike called at 8:30 last night and asked me to come over because he felt bad that I haven’t had a chance to hold him. I was already in bed but jumped out got dressed and was there in a flash. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww is all I can say.  I left him with a 100 kisses on top of his head and the lovely smell of baby in my nostrils.  Doting Gramma? You bet.  

St. Paddy's Day Baby

My baby has arrived at 4 this morning.  I only got a peek at him at 6am because visiting isn't until 2.  I'll be back then.  I'm so happy.  8lbs 13oz and looks like Michael.  Photos to come. 

Grandbaby number one

I have been on pins and needles all day.  Baby Stanley was suppose to be induced today, but can you believe it, the hospital is full and there is no room for her today or tomorrow.  They are sending her to Fergus hospital, (15 minutes from Guelph) tomorrow afternoon.  Good grief!!  Waiting to be a grandma is harder than actually being the pregnant mom.  I don’t want to miss anything.  The bond between a daughter in law and mom in law can be a fragile one. Add an impending stork arrival to the mix and things can get even more complicated. For the expectant mother, there may be boundaries she needs to have respected as she prepares for the birth of her child from the expectant grandma, (which I believe I have been good about,) Her mom has no boundy’s which I understand and respect so there is undoubtedly excitement and an eagerness to be involved by both of us in the process. Finding the proper balance has been a bit tricky but by being patient I have found it possible to enjoy the pregnancy and celebrate the new addition to arrive.  They have done a beautiful job in preparing for this little one. So I will go to work tomorrow again and have a grin ear to ear telling everyone that Stanley is on his way.  I love you guys. nette

Bonding

Bonding for me means many things.  We know that dogs have long been considered “man’s best friend,” and they have certainly earned the title.  The bond between humans and canines is unmistakable.  People have always been drawn to them and they to us.  Dogs have helped us in so many ways and expect little in return and are faithful and remain our loyal companions.  In return we care for them and maintain a good quality of life for them.  I miss my dog Josie, she was such a lovely dog and would be by my side day and night. 

As for humans, bonding takes some work.  It’s also in the little things we do.  For example my son David will ask me to watch one of his movies and I just don’t have the same taste in movies, so of course I say, No that’s okay. “But please mom it’s so good.”  I ask, “ does it have blood and guts in it.?” Of course it does.  Then he comes out with the old “ It’s will give us a chance to bond.” My heart melts and I agree to watch it.  My other son uses it on my too. Michael will for example the other day ask if I would drive him to Mississauga, I said, “but it’s already 2:00 o’clock, its kinda late in the day. “  He pulled the, “It will give us some bonding time.” So off we drive to Mississauga.   We actually have a good time. He can be a chatterbox sometimes.

Now there’s bonding with friends outside the family.  That can be challenging.  I have a lot of very good friends.  I try to be a true and faithful friend.  My sister has firmly believed that the one way you can tell if you have actually bonded with a friend is if you or he/she can “fart” in front of each other.  I know this may shock you coming out of my mouth. Sorry.  I don’t mean that oops, it slipped out, excuse me fart.  I mean the loud one that you just can’t pretend that it didn’t happen.  Of course then you both laugh so hard it invariably happens again and you laugh even louder.  Well I’m happy to say it happened to me this weekend,  I am blessed to have this friend as my close bonded friend.  (I am going to be dead when this person reads this.  Sorry I couldn’t help myself, but no names have been mentioned to protect the innocent.)  So, for all of you out there try to bond with a friend (you don’t really have to fart in front of them, just be there and enjoy that person.) nite for now. nette

 There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.Antisthenes

David

My son.  Well this photo tells all.  He’s unique.  He is a doll to me and a bigger hugger.  He is going through a phase at the moment and I’m not sure I like it.  He is a good boy so, so what if his hair is yellow and red.  He plans to breed snakes and sell them for major bucks.  I think he can do it.  He has some gorgeous colored snakes. They are very tame as you can see by the one around my neck in a previous blog.  He is a faithful friend and still bff’s to his kindergarten friends. He adores his sister and looks up to his big brother.  All in all I am proud of him. Go David. 

mom/Nette

Before/After

Like I promised a before and after photo.  I did say that my babysitting stint went well but I am quite tired.  I came home to a stinky house (David didn't clean the litter box, I do it daily). but he was making dinner for me.  David made chicken cordon blue and noodles. Chilled wine and my feet up and I am feeling quite relaxed.  Would I do it again.  Maybe in a couple of years but by then the kids will be old enough to babysit themselves.  Now it is only 5 days for the due date of my grand baby to be born.  The time has flown by.  Audrey looks beautiful so if my nana was right it will be a boy.  (if its a girl she drains the beauty out of the mom for herself as old wivestales say).  So here I am.  Do I look okay to you?

Day "I can't remember"

Well one more sleep. As much as I love the  bed here I am ready to sleep in my own bed.  Things have gone smoothly here, but it's time to go home.  I had a day here with a sick child (who by the way was better by 9)  I miss work, it seems like forever since I was there.  My sister just wrote a blog about retiring, I don't think I'm ready for that.  I miss my garage too. I have started my car early so I wouldn't have to scrap the ice off.  Now the kids are horsing around so i better get them in the car.  See you at work, nette

Sick day

As I predicted in my mind I have a sick kid.  And a Monday of course which is my busiest day of the week.  My rule when my kids were little was if you’re not throwing up or have a fever you’re going to school.  Well Cass threw up.  3 times.  I guess she’s staying home.  I was a stay at home mom and I was very lucky to do that, but my kids weren’t sick very often,  Now I’m a mom for a week and have a sick kid.  Calling in to work is hard but I know that they won’t think I am faking which is often what happens on a Monday.  So until tomorrow, (my 2^nd last day). Nette

Day 4 and David Cassidy

Day four I got some steam back in the morning but now it is 9:30 and its been a busy evening with games, crafts, movies (Barbie and ken movie), Nintendo DS, snacks, bedtime stories and now time to blog.  By now I am sure you are tired of my babysitting blog so I will give you a break and tell you about an old show I watched,                                I took this photo....

It was a repeat of “The Partridge Family”, and I could have thrown up.  Sooo lame. Where was the talent?  My favorite David Cassidy can’t act and is so scrawny.  They sure weren’t cut like the young guys these days  (oh I’m such a cougar).  I remember hurrying my homework and setting up my cassette player with a fresh tape in it so I could record the song of the week.  Finger on the record button and the microphone ready, waiting for them to  sing “I Think I Love You.” Of course it never came out very well because having 5 other kids in the house and at least 4 of them running around screaming they would be recorded onto my tape too. Erase!  Kids don’t know how good they have it.  We had to improvise on so many luxuries that our kids have nowadays. I would sit in front of the radio ready to record the hits.  Most of the announcers would yak well into the beginning of the song.  You would have to rewind then try to record again.  What a hassle.  If only Itunes were invented in my day.

My favorite actor and show in high school was the Mod Squad and I was so in love with Michal Cole.  I am afraid to watch an old episode of Mod Squad because I don’t want to lose my image of Michael Cole like I have David Cassidy. Speaking of David Cassidy I think he is on the show “The Apprentice”. I have never seen that show but I might tune in just to see him. A couple of years ago I dragged my friend to one of his concerts and made quite a fool of myself.  Just like the sister in Drew Barrymore’s Music and Lyrics. 

Ready for day 5, Nette 

Day 3

Day three was ditto to day one. Here ends the blog, i am running on a low battery time to recharge, nette

Day 2

First day is done now. Let me just get you up to speed on my bedtime ritual.  Kids were good and brushed their teeth and went right to bed.  Me, on the other hand had to figure out a new routine.  First of all the bed is on the wrong wall so that threw me off.  Fluff the pillows.   They were too full of fluff they were too high for my neck.  Turn on the TV, which was a challenge because of the different remotes in this house.  Nothing worth watching so I thought I would play a game of scrabble on my DS to help me fall asleep.   I had one game and the darn computer beat the pants of me.  Two bingos and they were both on two triple word scores.  Who does that.  Then I turned out the lights and tried to sleep.  Tick tick tick… blasted clock on the wall, what was I going to do about that.  Yep got up and took the batteries out.  Hung it back up and climbed back in bed.  Sheets were too hot so I fought with them for a while.  Snoring woke me up and I am embarrassed to say it was my own snoring.  Finally morning and I get up to start the lunches.  Make coffee and try to watch Breakfast television.  The kids were amazing, they got up and got dressed and made their bed and came down for breakfast, then the two older ones went upstairs to practice piano and guitar.  Everything is still fine except I didn’t get my timmies coffee in the morning which I desperately needed.  Work was busy and it was good to get out at noon.  I went home and got my own bed sheets and pillows.  All set for a good nights sleep tonight.  Right now the girls are playing nicely.  I think they are playing house.  Earlier I played snakes and ladders with them.  Did I tell you how much I hate that game.  No one likes going down the snakes which was true of Cassidy, then me and Vic is all smiles until it’s her turn and she was in the lead the whole time.  No second game of snakes and ladders for me.  Now it’s time for Cass to study her spelling again, I drilled her all last night until she finally got them all this morning and I told her she was going to ace the test today, and she informs me that the test isn’t until Friday.  Oh all that hard work.  So good night. Nette

Day 1

First day on babysitting duty.  As I was driving to the house I was worried that Angie had turned on the alarm system,  I don’t remember the pass code.  So when I put the key in the door I was expecting to hear the screech of the alarm but that didn’t happen. The door was unlocked.  I opened the door and thought I was alone in the house, when I heard a noise.  Have they not left for the airport yet?  I holler out “Is anyone here” not expecting to hear anyone.  Then I hear this foreign voice.  Yes or rather “Si.”  Shit!  From the kitchen comes this tiny women.  “I’m da cleaning lady.”  Oh I thought she was coming on Friday.  Any way all was good. She left about an hour later leaving the house smelling of cleaning fumes.  Pheww. I made dinner and went on my road trip, school, gymnastic, school, home, cheerleading, home, wait for Ryans ride to hockey, back to cheerleading, home, wait ½ hour then back to gymnastics, watch the last half hour.  Home at 7:45. Reheat the dinner for the girls.  Study for spelling test, brush teeth and bed.  Smmmoooooth.  Now time for dishes and my bedtime.  I can do this.  Nette

One More Sleep

One more sleep and I am a mother of three little ones.  I got my agenda yesterday.  OMG!  Busy family.  Not only will there be after school activities to drive back and forth too. Gymnastics, Cheerleading, and Hockey, they have regular piano and guitar lessons after breakfast. Study for their spelling test of the day.  I don’t think I will get a chance to have my coffee with Breakfast television in the morning, this will break my routine and my bowel movements.  There will be no time for a glass of wine after dinner and a TV show.  I hope there will be time for a shower or else my co-workers might get a little annoyed.  (I promise to squeeze it in.) Lunches too.  They will have a lunch that consists of something hot like zoodooles or soup, some snacks, and bagels, water, juice, fruit.  I hope I have time to pick up a timmies before work too, but I don’t think that will happen. I might be cranky at work. This is just a little bit of their day.  I will give you updates as the week goes on.  Here is my before picture.  By the end of the week I will see if I still look like this.

My Alarm

I go to bed week nights and dread the thought of waking up the next day.  Not because I want to sleep in but because waking up with a scare is not fun.  Yes my alarm clock scares the crap out of me in the mornings. It is one that has a buzzer that simply scares the living daylights out of me.  When I wake up from a good dream with a loud shrill, my whole day goes to pot.  If I wake up about an hour before the alarm is about to go off, I’m scared to fall back to sleep because I dread the buzz.  If I wake up about ½ an hour before the alarm I simply get up because I know what is about to happen.  Heaven help me if I accidentally hit the snooze button.  That is worse because you are just on the verge of falling back to sleep and the damn thing goes off again, and so on and so on. The other day I finally got the bright idea of changing it to the radio.  It doesn’t scare me nor does it wake me up.  So that problem isn’t solved. So how can I avoid that buzz and still wake up every morning without being late for work?  I guess I can buy a new one that is not so loud that it scare me, but loud enough to wake me.  Can I actually go into a store and ask to hear the alarm.  I don’t think so.  So I must think of an alternative.  I could get someone to give me a wakeup call like in hotels.  I could let my cat sleep with me again, (he would put his paw on my face when it was time for his breakfast.) but he is a night owl and gets into stuff at night, so I will eliminate that idea.  What about a blinking alarm like the hearing impaired use. Not sure that will work because I sleep under the blankey.  I live for weekends for many reasons but to go to bed without turning on the alarm is heaven.  Goodnight friends, (and John boy), Nette

St. Valentines Day

Today is Valentines Day, it’s about showing affection for the love in your life.  I have been single now for many years and feel cheated on this day, my Ex always got me some lovely jewellery but I now know that as much as I loved Valentine’s Day it is sad to me that this holiday has become so over-the-top and stressful to so many.  For many it would be nice to scale things back and keep it simple.  Like when we were kids.  You would cut out the valentine card and give it to the kids in your class. This big one is for Janey, I don’t like Joey quite so much so he gets this little one. Etc.  Now it is that you have to give to all the kids or to none.  I understand that, but it has become so commercial that it has lost its meaning.  Words on a card mean more than a box of chocolate or a rose ever will.  This day should not be about having a significant other or about gifts and everything over-the-top. This day should be about telling and demonstrating to the ones in your life whom you love and making sure they know how much you love them. I think of all my friends and family who have supported me through thick and thin and those are the ones I need to say something sweet to or do something out of the ordinary for. It could be a little card or a phone call, or a glass of wine and a game of scrabble, a movie together, spending quality time and being kind. There are so many I hope I don’t forget anyone.  So remember this holiday doesn’t have to be only for couples. I say this year just treat yourself and your friends and family and enjoy life

Insanity has struck?

Okay, I know I am crazy but I have done something quite insane.  I have agreed to babysit 3 kids for 10 days.  I hear you say “WHAAAT”. Yes what was I thinking….. I was thinking I love this little family, and am actually happy to do it.  I am quite nervous about the everyday routines of these little kids.  I am going to be wht I’ve heard about “hockey moms” but I am going beyond the call of duty and am going to be called “Gymnastic mom, Cheerleading mom and hockey mom.”  Then there is homework duty, lunch duty, bedtime rituals.  I’ve been a mom of grown up children too long.  This is extra good practice for my upcoming “gramma days”. (less than a month from now.) On top of babysitting I am still going to work.  Will I survive this?  Time will tell.  Maybe next time I will go to Jamaica and they can babysit David and his reptiles.  Say a prayer for sanity for me. Love Nette

Placentophagy

·      OMG.  When I read Laura’s facebook status I had never heard of Placentophagy,  She says: “Please admit me to the psych ward if I ever decide to eat my placenta.”  Some of her friends came up with some recipes” - Raspberry smoothies, - marinated and salt and pepper, - It would be great in a pasta sauce...like ground beef, need to take off the membranes though. - I think people like to cure them like sausages. These are just a few of the 14 responses she got.  Well I had to do some research on it. Here’s what I found.      

·    More and more women who suffer from postpartum depression are considering placenta eating as a natural remedy for the condition. The placenta can be consumed in a variety of ways, and has many health benefits.

·    Women who choose to eat their placenta often dehydrate and encapsulate it. The dried, crushed placenta is placed into pill-like capsules and consumed daily until it's gone. Consuming the placenta helps to regulate hormone levels after birth, evening out the emotional roller coaster that many women experience post partum.

·    If you're pregnant and interested in placenta eating to cure postpartum depression, consult your midwife. Many midwives or doulas will encapsulate the placenta for you for a small fee.

·    Placenta eating is traditionally practiced in many cultures, including Mexico, China, and the Pacific Islands. Many of these countries revere the placenta and see it as a crucial part of the birth process. However, in the US, the placenta is frequently discarded as medical waste.

·    More and more women, however, are learning about the benefits of placenta eating. These women often choose to birth at home, allowing them to maintain control over what happens to this important organ. The placenta is then frozen or dried until it can be consumed.

We all know that dogs eat the placenta and we say : “Gross”  well I think I will say that to this article. Hope you have all had your dinner before reading this.  The things we learn from facebook

"Leonitus" aka snake number one

 Well as promised, here I am with
Leonitus. It took about 15 shots before we got one where i wasn't looking terrified.  They call it a Boa Constrictor for a reason.  When it was around my neck it was quite tight and David said, "Don't worry it won't constrict."  I'd hate to feel it constrict.  Scary, but don't let that scare you, they won't contrict.  One more thing about this snake, apparently it has mites and I had it around my neck,
OMG, David didn't tell me until after the "photo shoot." They don't live on humans,

Well guess who's hopping in the shower,
moi....!
Ahh I feel better, No more snake stories for a while.

Snakes

Here’s a note to my friends that know my son has snakes, yes snakes, more than one. At first you would think them to be unusual pets.  In fact they can be wonderful pets that involve little care, they are hypoallergenic. They are clean and very quiet.  My son’s favorite is the Ball Pythons and the Boas.  They are actually very pretty and have nice coloring.  Some myths about snakes are:

1.      They are slimy.  No the boa has a skin texture that feels very much like silk. Very soft and very dry.  The python’s skin feels like leather and is also dry.

2.      They are poisonous.  Not true or they would be out of my basement faster than you can say “Jack Robinson.”

3.      They bite a lot.  Pythons are reluctant to bite, and will only bite if they are cornered. As for Boas may bite only if taken by surprise but that is the same for cats and dogs.  They hurt a bit. (trust me if one bites me I wouldn’t hold them again)

4.      These snakes are stupid.  Again not true.  They know their handlers and are very comfortable with them.  So far they are not afraid of me although one did pee on me and I freaked. Like really freaked. There was lots of pee.

5.      Other pets are not safe in the house.  Well this could be true if you don’t have good locks on the cages.  I know my cat sits beside their tanks because they are well lite and warm.  If one of them gets loose I would rather it eats the bird rather than my cat.  (Bird “Chico” is quite noisy.)

Now that you know that snakes are not something to fear but something to respect you can come to my house and not freak out.  David loves to show them off.

Stay tuned picture of me holding the big one.